


oh, won't you please tell me the real you?

by premeditated



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Courtship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, because tenn is going to romance him RIGHT god dammit, composition is like 4 parts fluff 1 part angst, note the lack of character death tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/premeditated/pseuds/premeditated
Summary: Coughing up petals means only one thing: Hanahaki Disease, an illness born from one-sided love. Flowers grow in the patient’s lungs until either the feelings are returned, or the plants are surgically removed—along with the feelings, permanently. If the flowers are just left to grow, eventually the patient will suffocate.When Kujou Tenn coughed up his first petal, two things happened, inevitably: he confessed his feelings, and he resolved to keep the secret of the flowers blooming in his lungs caught there in his chest. There was only one way to get Gaku to fall in love with him, after all, and it was to bare his feelings honestly and without burden.He still has a time limit, though, and vulnerability has never exactly come easily to him.
Relationships: Kujou Ten & Nanase Riku, Kujou Ten & Tsunashi Ryuunosuke & Yaotome Gaku, Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku
Comments: 23
Kudos: 58





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> uh…. *cries in tenn stan*
> 
> shoutout to my twin bro who is, in fact, a riku stan….. thanks for putting up with all my #TRIGGERtears. like if TRIGGER’s natsu✰shiyouze is the best version OR if you’re alive right now, trying to prove a point—
> 
> in all seriousness, the title is from my brother’s translation of secret night, so a real shoutout is necessary! i wanted to push back on the common interpretation of tenn as being really fake (and cruel) and hiding behind a mask all the time and secret night works eerily well, wouldn’t you know. i think the choice of “tell” instead of “show” in the title line is crucial for this fic, so i hope that comes across. enjoy! :)
> 
> anyways i like googling flower symbolism, so if you’re wondering: the fall-blooming anemone is cool because it closes up at night and then opens/blooms with the sunrise. so it typically represents anticipation and fragility, and serves as a reminder to enjoy the moment in order to take opportunities when they show up. the white anemone specifically also signifies sincerity and purity.
> 
> oh, and of course i have to add: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my two favorite idols (one of whom is the best idol in the world and the other of whom is the second best idol in the world)!!!!! one of the most well-written sets of twins i've ever had the pleasure of being a fan of. my & my twin bro's birthday is later this month and i'll probably post the final chapter around then so it'll all come full-circle :')

It began, as all things inevitably did for Kujou Tenn, on a stage.

Performing as TRIGGER always brought him to life in a way that nothing else could. It was impossible for him to walk out onto that stage and not leave it filled to bursting with love, and tonight was no exception. All of the brightest, most precious parts of himself were on display for the world to see, and Ryuu and Gaku together supported him with their whole hearts. Until the day he died, he knew he would never have enough of that feeling.

Every performance was special to him, and so there was nothing particularly significant about the night he fell in love. In fact, if he had to bet on it, he would have guessed that it wasn’t the performance itself where it happened, but the moments directly after.

They had finished their final encore of “DIAMOND FUSION” and bid their fans farewell. Even after leaving the stage and entering their dressing room, Tenn still felt connected to his bandmates, buzzing with that lingering energy that always accompanied a concert. He relished it, stretching as he draped himself across a couch.

“Ah, I could’ve gone for another couple of songs…” he sighed, still breathless.

“Ha,” Gaku snorted as he pushed Tenn’s feet aside to claim a seat for himself. (Tenn immediately plopped his feet into Gaku’s lap, of course, smiling when Gaku shot him a look.) “You would say that even if your heart stopped on stage. It’s a wonder we don’t have to drag you away every night.”

“That’s TRIGGER’s center for you!” Ryuu laughed. “Always pushing us to up our game.”

He ruffled Tenn’s hair with one hand and offered him a water with the other. Tenn leaned into it, smile widening as he took the bottle and held it to his flushed face.

“Thank you, Ryuu.” He turned back to Gaku, raising an eyebrow—but his mood was too good to really make it intimidating, especially when he couldn’t stop smiling to save his life. “This is how to properly encourage your center, in case you were wondering.”

Gaku made a show of rolling his eyes. “Don’t be a brat. It’s Ryuu’s job to spoil you, isn’t it?”

Tenn sat up so that he could lean into Gaku’s space. “But what if I want your attention, too?”

Gaku shook his head, but he was smiling now, too. “You’re so embarrassing after you perform. I’ve built up a tolerance to it.”

“I think it’s sweet!” Ryuu argued, resting a hand on Tenn’s head. “I love watching the fans bring out this cuter side of his that he’s always keeping hidden. It’s nice to see him be himself.”

Tenn gazed up at Ryuu fondly, shaking his head. He adored the warmth he felt at getting to share these moments with his friends, but he also couldn’t shake the nagging frustration at being misunderstood. It wasn’t like he was hiding his “true” self, either on or off the stage, but…

_Ah, I don’t even have the words to describe it to myself, do I?_

It was a familiar feeling, mostly because the only place he never struggled to come across the way he wanted to was in front of their fans. Usually, he didn’t bother trying to correct people when they misunderstood him, because he didn’t care if they got it wrong. But here, when it was just TRIGGER alone after a perfect performance—this was the moment when he most wanted to be understood, when he was the closest to being able to say what he wanted to say. He searched for the words as he usually did, drawing on that comforting feeling of being treasured by his band.

This time, though, Gaku beat him to it.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said before Tenn could get the words out. “Tenn is still Tenn, even when he’s not being very cute. He’s just an annoyingly complicated person.”

Tenn felt himself blushing. He blinked at Gaku, eyes wide with surprise before he could school his expression, heart stumbling in his chest.

Ryuu was laughing, clapping Gaku on the shoulder. “You sure have a weird way of giving out compliments, Gaku.”

Gaku turned away, but Tenn could see his cheeks starting to go pink. “He’s our center, after all, isn’t he?”

Tenn let out a sweet little laugh before he leaned in to give Gaku a kiss on the cheek. He watched TRIGGER’s leader turn bright red. “I thought you didn’t want to spoil me.”

“So you really have to ruin this, too, huh?” Gaku grumbled. But he still reached forward and took his turn giving Tenn’s hair a ruffle.

Tenn’s already overflowing heart swelled again. He flopped back on the couch, grinning up at the ceiling as the heady feeling of their performance finally started to settle into something more solid. “I really love you guys, you know?”

“Of course, we know,” Ryuu said, at the same time that Gaku scoffed, “What did I say? So embarrassing.”

Tenn and Ryuu shared a laugh before Ryuu shook his head and pulled away from the couch. “Alright, I promised Anesagi- _san_ that I would check in with her about my schedule for tomorrow. Please try not to get into any fights while I’m gone?”

“Just wait,” Gaku called after him, “we’re going to disband the second you turn your back.”

Ryuu’s laughter sounded all the way down the hall. Tenn sighed, content to sit and bask for a bit until his feelings settled down some more.

“Hey,” Gaku said after a moment, nudging Tenn’s leg with his hand.

“Hm?”

Tenn tilted his head to find Gaku looking at him with an intensity that instantly had his stomach swooping. All at once, the breathless feeling of the stage, the heart-pounding heat of the spotlight, were back with a dizzying strength. He waited, holding his breath.

“You seemed especially intense during the performance tonight,” he said. “What’s up?”

“Did you have trouble keeping up?” Tenn asked, just because he knew Gaku would hate it.

“Hardly,” Gaku scoffed. Then he let out a quiet breath. “I meant what I said earlier, you know? You’re really hard to figure out most of the time.”

Tenn’s heart was pounding in chest. It felt too big to stay there any longer. “You don’t just mean that I’m high maintenance?” he prodded.

“You know what I meant,” Gaku said pointedly. “Even performing with you, I spend a lot of time trying to understand you. Being on stage together does make it easier, but I just wanted to say—there _is_ someone who’s trying. You do know that, right?”

Tenn unconsciously put a hand on his chest, as if that could quiet it. The room seemed brighter, like something had shifted, changed undeniably.

“Yes,” he said softly. “I know.”

Gaku nodded, looking away. “You just seemed… surprised, before.”

Tenn chose his next words carefully before he said them. “I’m used to connecting with you best when we sing.”

Gaku let out a laugh as he ran a hand through his hair. “That makes two of us. I think I’d prefer to stick to communicating that way, especially if it’s going to be like that last song.”

“‘DIAMOND FUSION’ is full of very intense feelings,” Tenn said with a shrug. Then he smiled again. “But maybe that’s why I had so much fun tonight.”

“Well, if you ever pull that move with my tie again, I won’t let you get away with it, audience or no,” Gaku complained, straightening his collar as if he could erase the memory of being manhandled onstage by Tenn that way. “I don’t like being yanked around.”

Tenn’s smile took on a bit of a sly edge. “The audience seemed to feel differently, though.”

“Well, unlike some people,” Gaku said as he got to his feet, eyeing Tenn like he thought he might go for his tie again right there in the dressing room, “I don’t do anything and everything to please our audience.”

“It’s good of you to recognize your limits as an artist,” said Tenn primly. “That’s why I’m the center, isn’t it?”

“Really?” Gaku asked with feigned surprise. “I thought it was entirely because of your _planet-sized_ ego.

“Anyways,” he continued loudly when Tenn tried to respond, “you may be the center, but _I’m_ the leader, and I have to go and thank the crew.”

He paused just before the door to point at the water bottle that was still in Tenn’s hands. “Drink all of that, since you still look overheated, and then you should join me.”

“Do your best, Leader- _san_ ,” Tenn said, aiming for deadpan and missing it by several miles. Oh, well—he was already especially sappy today anyway.

Gaku waved him away as he strode toward the door. “Go back to being cute, would you? I like that better.”

That comment inexplicably had butterflies erupting in his stomach. Tenn was back to smiling at the ceiling, but this time with his private feelings, and he fully intended to relish it for a bit. He also intended to join Gaku in a minute or two, but that plan quickly went out the window.

He had no idea how much time passed. He couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment when the gentle butterflies turned into something sharper. It was so subtle that at first, he didn’t notice it at all—he was too busy thinking about his conversation with Gaku, of course.

“I think,” he said aloud to the empty room, “I think I might—”

And then, all of a sudden, he was coughing. If that wasn’t bad enough, he couldn’t seem to stop—not even to gulp down any of his water. He just kept coughing against his will, until his eyes were watering and his throat felt raw. He was just starting to feel mildly annoyed when it happened.

There was an extra tickle in his throat. His chest was on fire, and then there was the feeling of something dislodging and almost triggering his gag reflex. He scrambled for the nearest trash can with trembling hands and listened to his heart thudding in his ears as he gagged into it. He was berating himself for somehow allowing himself to catch a stomach bug when the petal finally dislodged and fell from his lips. Tenn watched it flutter into the empty bin with wide eyes, lips still parted in shock.

It was snow-white and so thin it was almost translucent. Later, when he started coughing up whole flowers, he would learn that it belonged to a fall-blooming anemone. Now, though, sitting delicately at the bottom of the trash can, he didn’t know that.

He did know, in a moment of heart-stopping certainty, that it was for Gaku. He stared at it, cheeks flushed, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, knuckles white where they gripped the bin, and he _knew_.

His feelings for Gaku had crossed the boundary into romance, and Gaku’s hadn’t yet.

And he knew with that same piercing, breathless clarity that these feelings had done more than sneak up and take him by surprise. They had taken root there in his still-pounding heart, nestled close to that most resilient part of himself, and already he felt the discomfort that accompanied the growth there. But alongside that unease was a burning desire—to protect these feelings, to cherish them until they had the chance to grow softer and reach out beyond the private beating of his own heart, up his throat and into the words that spilled out of his mouth.

 _Yes_ , he thought as his fist clenched around the metal can, _I won’t allow these feelings to become something ugly._

He only just had time to recognize this resolve when a dull throb in his chest heralded the appearance of more petals. At the same moment, the door to the dressing room started to open.

Tenn felt his stomach drop. Only two people ever entered their dressing rooms without knocking, and one of them was—

“Tenn?” came Ryuu’s voice from the doorway, causing Tenn’s breath to leave him in a sigh of relief. It was short-lived, however, when Ryuu continued: “Are you still in here? Anesagi- _san_ is looking for—hey, are you alright?”

Tenn’s shoulders hunched minutely as his friend rushed over to his side. Leave it to Ryuu to detect his distress from ten paces with nothing but a glance.

“I’m—”

Tenn couldn’t get another word out before he was coughing all over again, just as badly as before. Ryuu put a steady hand on his back, and Tenn wanted to cringe at the feeling of helplessness simmering inside him. The petals had made their point already—did they really need to make it impossible for him to explain himself, too?

He covered his mouth with his hand in the hopes that he could hide the petals from Ryuu, but he wasn’t really prepared. They slipped through his fingers and twirled down to join the first one in the trash can—five in total, that time.

He took a shaky breath, feeling the twinge when his chest expanded, and pushed the bin away. He looked up to meet Ryuu’s shocked gaze steadily.

“Tenn…” Ryuu started, “these petals. It’s Gaku, isn’t it?”

Not trusting himself to have his voice back under control, he could only nod. Not that it was necessary—Ryuu was one of three people who could read him like an open book, and they both knew it.

Ryuu gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. Then, after a brief hesitation, he asked, “How long have you…?”

“This is the first time,” Tenn answered, voice rough.

Ryuu’s hand had started rubbing soothing circles into Tenn’s back. He was looking at Tenn carefully, like he might an easily-spooked cat. “So, we still have plenty of time to do something about it.”

Tenn could feel his lips curling up into the slightest of smiles at the way Ryuu effortlessly slipped into that _we_. “You aren’t going to tell him.”

Ryuu looked physically pained, as though he really shared the ache in Tenn’s chest. “Tenn… It’s not like you don’t have a chance, you know? Gaku might be a little hardheaded, but you know much he cares about you.”

“You aren’t going to tell him,” Tenn repeated as he gently drew himself out of Ryuu’s embrace, “because _I’m_ going to tell him.”

He watched the grin slowly spread across Ryuu’s face. “You mean you’re going to confess right now, don’t you?”

“As soon as I can find him,” he promised.

“Last I saw, he was still thanking the stage crew.” Ryuu reached out with both hands to give his shoulders a squeeze. “Tenn, I think you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

Tenn shot him one last smile over his shoulder as he started purposefully from the room. “I hope it’s not just because of something as easy as this?”

Ryuu’s delighted laughter and resounding “Of course not!” followed him out the door and into the hallway, filling him with courage.

* * *

He found Gaku exactly where Ryuu had said he would be, on the stage which was now fully lit and mostly empty. He had taken his time getting there, offering his own thanks for a show well-done to everyone he passed, because he would not let this annoying disease stop him from expressing his appreciation to them. By the time he reached Gaku, most of the clean-up efforts had moved to the backstage areas, and it was more or less just the two of them in the middle of the stage where they’d been performing just hours before.

Gaku opened his mouth to speak, but Tenn beat him to it.

“Gaku,” he said, quiet but firm, “I have something important to tell you.”

Gaku must have seen the intensity of his feelings on his face, because he was tilting his head and returning Tenn’s stare curiously. “Is it about the schedule change? Because Anesagi- _san_ already told me.”

“No.” Tenn shook his head. He felt the overwhelming urge to look away, but he held steady. “It’s actually personal, but please let me say it.”

Gaku nodded. “I’m listening.”

Tenn took a deep breath. This was the hard part, no matter what he’d said to Ryuu. Pulse pounding in his throat, he subconsciously pressed a hand to his aching chest. He almost thought that he wouldn’t figure out what to say—but then in the space of the next heartbeat, the words were all tumbling out of his mouth.

“Gaku, I deeply admire your dedication to TRIGGER and the intuition you have that makes you so successful as our leader. Your faith in me always gives me the courage to advance, even when I’m the most unsure. I’ve realized that I like you a lot—” Here he stumbled a bit as he watched Gaku’s surprised face burst into a furious blush. “—a-and I couldn’t just let myself do nothing about it. So, will you go out with me?”

Tenn’s ears were burning. He felt suddenly like there were a million pairs of eyes on him, like the audience had piled back into their seats and were watching his every move in complete and suffocating silence. But it was only Gaku watching him, returning his unbroken gaze with wide eyes—and it was Gaku who eventually broke the silence.

“Was—” He cleared his throat roughly. “Was that a _confession_?”

Tenn’s whole face was aflame now, but it was nothing next to the fire in his chest. “You couldn’t _tell_?”

He managed to sound more annoyed than mortified, but that was a small consolation.

“It just surprised me, alright?” Gaku shot back, frowning. “It wasn’t very polished.”

That finally had Tenn breaking eye contact as he looked off to one side. He crossed his arms over his stomach, as if he could hold in the butterflies that way, and grumbled, “…I admit I would have preferred to plan something like this more carefully.”

He heard Gaku sigh, and chanced another look at him. He was shaking his head, one hand pushing his hair away from his face and the other pressed to his still-flushed cheek.

“You actually ran over here to give me a half-assed, spontaneous confession?” He let out a little laugh, equal parts disbelieving and fond, and Tenn’s heart gave a great, heavy _thump_. “And you really mean it.”

Tenn held his chin high. “There’s nothing half-assed about my feelings,” he promised, “and I’m still waiting for an answer.”

Gaku’s lingering smile dimmed as he fixed Tenn with that same weighty stare from moments ago. Before Tenn could get caught up in his own anticipation, he was saying, “I’m… not really sure about something like this.”

 _Thump_. Tenn’s heart continued to hammer against his chest. “‘Something like this’?”

“Romance, confessions, all of it,” Gaku said with a vague hand gesture. Then, more quietly, “…You.”

“You’re not sure if you can return my feelings in the same way,” Tenn said, unable to help a little sigh of his own.

“You don’t sound surprised,” Gaku noted.

Tenn could feel the petals brushing against his lungs like an urgent, physical thing, and it was all he could do to offer Gaku a small smile. “I… suspected as much.”

“But you still told me,” Gaku said, looking at Tenn with something like wonder in his eyes.

It really was powerful enough to replace an entire stadium of adoring fans, that look. Tenn pushed past the growing pressure in his chest so he could _really_ smile when he said, “I wanted to be honest with you.”

Gaku took a step toward him, then stopped. “Then of course I have to be honest with you, too.”

Tenn nodded. “Of course,” he said, and thought, _That’s why I love you_.

“You get it, right?” Gaku asked, although he didn’t sound the least bit uncertain. “I can’t consider something like this unless I’m totally sure it’s what I want. If I do anything less, I’m being unfair to both of us, but especially to you and your feelings. Love needs the strongest possible foundation if it’s going to survive.”

Gaku was looking at him imploringly, like he needed Tenn to understand. But he had that steel in his voice that came out whenever they disagreed about something—the toughness that said he wanted Tenn to see it his way, but he wouldn’t budge even if he couldn’t. It was the warning that this would turn into a fight before Gaku would bend, if Tenn didn’t know when to back down.

But then, Tenn had never been any good at knowing when to back down when it came to Gaku.

“I get that you think you’re keeping the future in mind, but that’s where you and I are different,” Tenn said, brazen as ever. “I’m not nearly as short-sighted as you.”

He watched, coolly, as Gaku’s face went slack with shock before hardening with the first flaring of his anger. “Tenn—”

“I’m not so easily satisfied,” Tenn continued relentlessly. “You see, I want more for these feelings than _just_ their survival. I want them to flourish. I want to see them grow into something even more beautiful than what they are now, and this confession—it’s my way of telling you that I’ll do it, if you have the courage to try.”

His hand had made its way back up to cover his heart again. He clutched the fabric of his shirt and willed its chest-rattling tempo to come out in the way he looked at Gaku now, in the words that he was about to say.

“What I feel about you… It’s a part of me. It has been long before this, and it’s not going anywhere.” And saying it as a promise like that, he meant it with every ounce of conviction that he possessed. “If you just don’t feel the same way, that’s one thing. But if there’s even the smallest chance… I won’t let anyone, even you, stop it before I get the chance to see it bloom.”

Gaku was speechless. He gaped at Tenn with wide eyes, face a furious red, caught as he was somewhere between indignation and awe. He looked at him like he was grasping and grasping, but Tenn was just a puzzle that he _couldn’t_ make any sense of.

“What are you saying?” he finally demanded, sounding strained. “I _won’t_ let our relationship fail because I was uncertain and tried to make it into something it’s not.”

“If that’s your decision,” Tenn said firmly, “then I’ll respect it and you’ll never hear about this again.”

Here Tenn took a deep breath. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and bowed deeply.

“…But please, if there’s any possibility of you feeling the same way, then give me a chance to make those feelings bloom. Let me try at least.”

He waited in heart-pounding silence. It stretched on and on, only for Gaku to finally break it with a weary sigh.

“You really, really don’t know how confessions are supposed to work, brat,” he grumbled. “Now I’m ‘short-sighted’ and cowardly? What happened to being dedicated and inspiring, or whatever the hell?”

Tenn’s eyes snapped up, flashing with anger, as he snapped, “You can be all of them at once. I just wanted you to take me seriously.”

“Yeah, well, message received,” Gaku huffed. “And, I… I’m sorry, if I was making light of your feelings. I just wanted to avoid hurting each other later.”

Tenn straightened up with a sigh of his own. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I wasn’t taking _that_ seriously.”

Gaku was smiling now, small but soft. “Yeah, I know. And I shouldn’t call you crazy for insulting me while you confess, when I’m the one who’s kind of falling for it.”

It was Tenn’s turn to stare with wide, surprised eyes. He felt his heart rattling. “You mean you’ll try dating me?”

“What can I say?” Gaku reached out to lightly lay a hand on Tenn’s chest, right over his heart where his own hand had been a few moments before. Tenn swore that he must have been able to feel the way it jumped when he said, “You made your feelings reach me with your honesty. Right now, I... want to see more of what they’re really like.”

Tenn could just about feel more petals unfurling in his chest, weighing it down. He fought down a cough through sheer force of will. “For now, that’s enough.”

Then Gaku’s smile turned suddenly a bit sly. “…It might also have been because that was the first time you’ve ever said ‘please’ to me. I really wanted to rub it in, but even I wouldn’t be cruel enough to do that if I’d said no.”

Tenn rolled his eyes, but he knew that it was much less effective when his cheeks were still pink. “And you call _me_ a brat.”

Gaku withdrew his hand with a playful _tsk_. “Harsh. I hope you’ve got a better strategy than that to, ah… what was it? Make my feelings _bloom_?”

Tenn blushed even more furiously, but he held his chin up as he fixed Gaku with his most determined look.

“I’ll definitely show you,” he vowed. “You’ll see how beautiful it can be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the stagehand on the side of the stage who just accidentally watched that whole dramatic-ass thing Happen: >:oc


	2. ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the response to the last chapter!!!! ♥♥♥ it's great to see so many people love hanahaki gakutenn as much as i do. i hope you enjoy this next chapter! it's very sweet and might even be my favorite ♥

“So.”

Ryuu stared intently at him over his bubble tea, expectant.

Tenn sipped his own tea coolly. He didn’t say a thing.

Ryuu broke first. After a prolonged few moments of this pointed silence, he fell forward onto the table with a groan.

“This really wasn’t what I thought you meant when you said you were going to tell Gaku,” he said. “How could you leave out the Hanahaki, Tenn? Don’t you think he’d want to know?”

Tenn put his drink down. “Of course, he would.”

Ryuu groaned. “I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t you tell him, then?”

“I wasn’t planning to tell _anyone_ , actually,” Tenn said.

“I think that’s a mistake, too,” Ryuu shot back, frowning. “You should tell Anesagi- _san_ at least. You shouldn’t be performing right now.”

Tenn felt himself smiling fondly, just a bit. “We have this argument every time I catch a cold.”

“This isn’t a cold, Tenn!” Ryuu said hotly.

Tenn blinked in surprise, taken aback by his sudden volume. Ryuu took a deep breath before he continued. “Sorry. It’s just—you’re in a lot of danger, and it doesn’t seem like you’re treating it very urgently. We’re supposed to be a team, and Gaku is a part of that team… It’s wrong to hide something like this from him, especially now that you’re together.”

Tenn pursed his lips, looking away from Ryuu’s concerned face. He gazed out the window next to their table for a few moments before he responded.

“What do you think Gaku would do, if I told him?” he asked softly.

Ryuu made a confused noise. “What do you mean? He would help you, of course!”

“I’m sure he would want to,” Tenn conceded easily. He turned back to fix Ryuu with an intense look. “But what would he _do_?”

He watched as Ryuu floundered speechlessly for a few seconds. Before he could find any words, Tenn spoke again.

“Do you see it now?” he pressed. “If I told him about the Hanahaki, he would never be able to fall in love with me.”

“That’s not true!” Ryuu exclaimed, clearly frustrated.

But Tenn was already shaking his head. “It is. The only way to guarantee that he won’t return my feelings is to make him feel like he _has_ to. At that point, even if he wanted to, well… _I_ definitely wouldn’t be able to fall in love with someone like that.”

“That isn’t fair,” Ryuu insisted, without elaboration.

“No, it isn’t,” Tenn said, eyes drifting toward the window again, “but I can’t change—”

“No!” Ryuu interrupted, “I meant it’s unfair to treat Gaku like he doesn’t have a choice!”

Tenn’s eyes snapped back over to him. He was so startled by the outburst this time that he descended into a hacking coughing fit—one so volatile that he was left with stinging eyes and a sharp pain in his chest when it finally subsided. Ryuu, who had rushed over to his side of the table in order to hover worriedly over him for the duration of the fit, carefully brushed away the pile of petals that had accumulated in front of them. Ryuu put a warm hand on his shoulder, and Tenn could feel his raw throat close up when he tried to speak.

“Sorry,” Ryuu said quietly. “I didn’t mean—”

“It’s not your fault,” Tenn said stiffly. He had to force the words out, and he cringed at how rough his voice sounded.

Luckily, Ryuu took the hint and returned to his seat on the other side of the table. He was looking at Tenn with big, worried eyes, and he could barely stand it—especially when he knew his cheeks were red and his eyes were full of tears from coughing.

“…It’s not getting worse, is it?” Ryuu asked, voice small.

Tenn’s expression softened at the distress in his voice. “It hasn’t progressed that much yet. You haven’t noticed anything at our events or practices, have you?”

“Of course not,” Ryuu said kindly, “but you’re a professional. I’m just… really worried you’re going to push yourself too hard and no one will be able to tell.”

“I promise I’ll tell you when I start coughing up whole flowers,” Tenn said solemnly.

He watched as Ryuu visibly relaxed, settling back into his chair and offering a tentative smile. “I’m really not trying to lecture you or anything, I’m just—”

“I know,” Tenn interrupted again, “and I appreciate it. But I promise, I’m going to fix this before it gets out of control.”

Ryuu let out a long sigh, leaning forward to rest his cheek on his palm. “You’re so confident that you can get Gaku to fall in love with you.”

It wasn’t a question, but Tenn heard it like one anyway. “It’s the only outcome I’ll accept. I have to do everything in my power to make it a reality.”

“I guess you wouldn’t be Tenn if you did it any other way,” Ryuu conceded with a smile. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Tenn tilted his head. “Isn’t this something I should do by myself?”

Now Ryuu suddenly looked nervous. He gave the skittish laugh he always gave when he was in a complicated social situation and forced to be polite. “Uh… I suppose…”

“Ryuu.” Tenn narrowed his eyes. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

Ryuu looked back at him with wide, deer-in-headlights eyes. “It’s just—I mean—what have you been doing so far?”

Tenn eyed him suspiciously for another moment, just to keep him on edge. Then he gave it some thought before answering, “Mostly a lot of little things, because of our schedules. You’ve seen most of it, I think—do you think it hasn’t been working?”

“Do _you_ think… it… _has_ …?” Ryuu got out in a strangled voice.

Tenn was glaring at him now. “Are you going to tell me straightforwardly what you think is wrong?”

Ryuu threw his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. Uh, what about the flowers?”

Tenn blinked in surprise. “The flowers? He liked those.”

He actually had a very fond memory of the way Gaku went from being his intensely focused pre-show self to melting into a puddle on the floor. The cute message signed with a heart seemed especially to strike him speechless. It was a moment he would treasure, for sure.

“Yeah, but…” Ryuu was scratching his neck, clearly struggling. “Why’d you put them in the dressing room instead of giving them to him yourself?”

Ah. Tenn could sort of see his point.

He ducked his head a bit. “I… thought it would attract too much attention otherwise.”

“Too much…? Oh,” Ryuu said, shooting him a sympathetic look, “you mean like that date you tried at Bandnamcoland.”

Now Tenn could feel his face starting to heat up. “That one was going well at first…”

He just about let out a wistful sigh at the thought of Gaku trying to beat him at a game to win one of the exclusive plushie prizes—after Tenn had goaded him into the competition, of course. He was even going to give the plushie to Gaku after he won.

“I was really surprised when you said the fans found you,” Ryuu said thoughtfully. “You’re both usually much better with your disguises than I am, anyway…”

Tenn really did sigh now as he glanced away and grumbled, “I thought it might be weird if I covered my face that much. But then it just seemed like I didn’t plan it very well…”

“Well, that one wasn’t really your fault,” Ryuu rushed to assure him. Then he paused, and eventually said very hesitantly, “Ah… so, about those texts this morning…”

Tenn could already feel his chin tilting up defensively. “I stand by them.”

“So you really do sound like that every time you text him?” Ryuu blurted out.

He sounded entirely surprised and not the least bit judgmental, but that just made Tenn’s cheeks heat up faster.

“Excuse me,” he said as he pulled his phone out to review the conversation from earlier that day.

**天** **(06:02)**  
Good morning, Gaku.

**楽** **(06:11)**  
Morning

**天** **(06:12)**  
We have practice today at 09:00, remember.

**楽** **(06:14)**  
…Yes, I remember.

**龍之介** **(06:15)**  
(^^;) Um, guys, there’s no need to be so weirdly formal in the group chat just because I’m here… You could always text each other privately.

**天** **(06:18)**  
Oh, I thought this was a private chat.

**龍之介** **(06:18)**  
∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)  
This is how you normally sound when you text each other?!

**(** **天** **has removed** **龍之介** **from the chat)**

**楽** **(06:19)**  
Tenn???

**天** **(06:19)**  
Now it really is a private chat.

Tenn looked up to scowl at Ryuu. “I was wishing him a good morning. It was the first thing I did when I woke up.”

Ryuu actually looked surprised, which made Tenn feel like bristling less. “That’s… pretty sweet when you put it like that. But it just doesn’t come across in how you said it.”

“It doesn’t ‘come across’?” Tenn echoed, frowning.

“Well…” Ryuu tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You could’ve sent texts like that to pretty much anyone else.”

Tenn’s frown deepened. “But I didn’t. I sent them to him. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“No, no, of course it does, but it’s just—” Ryuu cut himself off with a frustrated groan, hanging his head in despair. “I’m making a mess of this.”

“Apparently, so am I,” Tenn said blandly, taking another sip of his forgotten bubble tea.

Ryuu put his head in his hands. “That’s not what I wanted you to get out of this.”

“Hm.”

Ryuu made a frustrated noise. “Just—really, Tenn, Gaku already cares about you so much. You know that. Maybe… try not to make it so hard for him, you know?”

Tenn continued to sip his tea, and Ryuu stared at him hopefully.

Eventually, Tenn looked back out the window with one last labored sigh. His hand had made its way to rub at his chest when he said, “We might have no other choice but to go the hard way.”

* * *

“When you said it was on the roof, this wasn’t what I expected.”

Tenn watched Gaku while he examined the spot that he’d set up for the date. He’d spread a nest of blankets over a modest portion of the roof, and also piled it high with a bunch of pillows of various sizes and shapes. Most of his things were monochrome or pale colors, and it all glowed softly in the light of the twinkling lanterns he’d set up to chase away the relative dark of a nighttime rooftop in Tokyo.

Now, Gaku’s face lit up as he took it in. Tenn looked away before he responded, suddenly conscious of his heartbeat in his chest. “What did you think you’d find? A helicopter waiting to take us to our real date?”

“Maybe some more dance practice?” Gaku suggested, then burst into laughter at the scowl on Tenn’s face. “Are you _pouting_?”

“I value my off-days, too, you know,” Tenn grumbled, cheeks reddening.

“Yes, I can see that,” Gaku conceded. Then he grabbed Tenn’s hand and started pulling him over to the blankets, causing Tenn’s heart to stumble in surprise. “C’mon, let’s not let all your pillows go to waste. Why do you even have so many, anyway?”

“I don’t use most of them,” Tenn admitted as they got settled.

Gaku sat down, leaning back in all the pillows until he was comfortable, and then Tenn sat beside him—close, but not as close as he would’ve liked to be, since he was still cautious of pushing Gaku’s boundaries too much. Tenn was unbearably aware of their hands resting on the blankets inches away from each other.

“Somehow,” Gaku sighed, tilting his head to fix him with a grin, “you strike me as exactly the kind of person who would have a closet full of unused decorations.”

Tenn raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Are you saying I’m shy, or boring?”

Gaku groaned, somewhat dramatically throwing an arm over his eyes. “I wasn’t saying you were anything. Now, though, I’m saying you’re sensitive.”

“You’ve said that before,” Tenn said primly.

“And I will say it again,” Gaku predicted gravely. He peeked out from behind his arm at Tenn. “For someone so surprising, you sure can be predictable.”

Tenn hummed. “Now _that_ sounds like a compliment.”

“And no ‘thank you’?” Gaku snorted, shaking his head and turning to fix his gaze upwards on the night sky. “I swear you’re _trying_ not to make sense.”

Tenn said nothing, just watched Gaku watching the sky with bright eyes. In the glow of the night skyline, his hair mixed with the silvery candlelight into a glowing halo.

“It’s not very easy to stargaze here, is it?” Gaku murmured without looking away.

“You can still see some of the brighter ones,” Tenn pointed out. He paused thoughtfully. “Maybe the other ones are just shy—or sensitive?”

Gaku rolled his eyes. “You must be the brightest, most obnoxious one, then. That one, there.”

Tenn’s eyes reluctantly left Gaku’s face to follow his outstretched hand. “That’s a planet, not a star. It’s Venus, I think.”

Gaku’s laughter pulled Tenn’s gaze back to him, to find the full force of his grin directed his way. His heart stuttered painfully in his chest.

“That’s even better, isn’t it?” Gaku was saying. “It’s all alluring and theatrical.”

Tenn glanced away. “Actually, I’m a Cancer.”

“Oh, come on,” Gaku groaned, “you hate astrology.”

“If you knew that, then what are you doing comparing me to a planet?” Tenn asked skeptically.

Gaku stared at him for a moment before his face started going red. “You’ve really got to cut that out.”

Tenn frowned. “What?”

“That thing where you turn every compliment I give you into some kind of veiled insult or something,” Gaku said, catching Tenn with that slight glare that said he was really serious. “It’s really frustrating.”

“Maybe you should get some better compliments,” Tenn suggested graciously. But he could already feel his overburdened heart picking up in his chest—and he was sure that somehow, Gaku could tell.

“I _know_ that’s not what you really think when I tell you you’re like a star, no matter how roundabout I am,” Gaku insisted. “Why don’t you just say that instead?”

“Oh?” Tenn found himself leaning in just a bit, shifting to rest his cheek in his palm so that he could get the best possible view of Gaku’s scowling face in the flickering light. “Tell me more about what I really think, won’t you?”

“Tenn…” Gaku started, his tone warning.

“Really,” Tenn interrupted, quiet but firm. He let his gaze wander away from Gaku’s eyes, roaming over the rest of his face before returning. “I want to hear it. Won’t you tell me?”

Gaku watched him for a few beats with that look that made Tenn’s face go hot, completely inscrutable. It was all Tenn could do not to hold his breath, especially when his chest gave an awful pang.

Then, Gaku was sighing, his tense posture relaxing before Tenn’s eyes.

“Jeez,” he grumbled finally, but not without a touch of humor, “you really don’t make anything easy, do you?”

Tenn stared at him intently, frowning just a bit. _Easy, huh…?_

He felt the determination building in his chest. Clearing his throat, which suddenly ached, he said, “Gaku, I—”

He had to pause to clear his throat again. The feeling in his chest was suddenly a lot less incorporeal and a lot more suffocating, and soon he found his shoulders shaking with an involuntary coughing fit. He barely had time to think, _Not here…!_ before he felt the petals starting to dislodge, tickling at his throat.

“Tenn?” came Gaku’s worried voice from beside him. “Did you catch a cold somehow?”

Tenn shook his head harshly. He wanted to say more, but of course all that would come out would be petals—and _that_ would be saying far too much. Covering his mouth tightly with one hand, he rolled onto his other side and curled in on himself as the coughs continued to rack his body. With his eyes squeezed shut, it was only the cool night wind against his cheek that kept him tethered to that moment, to the present.

And then Gaku was resting a warm hand on his back, and suddenly the world shifted so _that_ was his anchor.

Gaku laid beside him for the whole time, rubbing soothing circles into his back and muttering indignantly about _“This stubborn brat”_ and _“Why would you plan_ this _date when you’re sick?”_ It brought laughter bubbling up inside of Tenn, but that just made him cough harder. When his eyes started stinging and Gaku was still there at his side, he seriously considered telling him—just removing the hand from his mouth and letting the truth spill out. He could already feel the thin petals pushing at the cracks between his fingers, wanting to escape.

_It would be so easy_ , he thought.

His other hand came up to grip the wrist of the one covering his lips. Knuckles going white as he tightened his hold, he gave a final, shuddering cough, and opened his eyes.

A watery image of Gaku’s mighty frown greeted him when he turned his head. Tenn’s hand remained where it was, pressing the petals against his mouth—and so did Gaku’s, now resting steadily on his shoulder.

“Let’s go inside,” Gaku said sternly. “You shouldn’t be spending the night here when you’re this ill.”

Tenn shook his head, glaring at Gaku wordlessly.

Gaku glared right back, eyes narrowed. “Do you even know how to take care of yourself properly?”

Tenn took a deep gulp of air that tasted like the petals on his palm. In one smooth movement, he shifted onto his back and covered Gaku’s hand on his shoulder with one of his own. When Gaku glanced down at it and then back up at him in surprise, Tenn removed the hand covering his mouth and took all the petals along with it. He didn’t get to count them before he was burying them in a pile of pillows—he was too busy turning his head to watch Gaku.

“You know my limits,” he said, schooling his voice into something with only the suggestion of rasping. “Let’s stay.”

Gaku stared at him for a long moment, considering.

“Is this just because you want me to sing some more of your praises?” he sighed after a moment. “Or to somehow read your mind?”

“Let me try first,” Tenn said. The words came to him more easily than his still-labored breathing. “I didn’t bring you up here to stargaze.”

“Oh?” Gaku prompted, raising his eyebrows.

“It doesn’t matter to me if I can see the stars, not when I can watch you instead.”

He saw Gaku’s face turning red, as well as his attempts to keep his expression schooled into something cool. He failed, and Tenn held back a smile.

“Isn’t that a little too much?” Gaku asked, and this time he was the one who sounded breathless.

“I’m tired of holding back,” Tenn said softly. His eyes trailed to Gaku’s throat as he swallowed, then glanced back up. “You already know that, right?”

Tenn turned properly onto his side to face him head-on, and suddenly they were in the same space. Their bodies were inches apart, foreheads close to brushing—he watched Gaku’s eyelashes fluttering against his flushed cheeks and waited for Gaku’s eyes to find his own. When they had, he held his gaze there, reached up to brush a feather-light thumb against his cheek.

“Do I hold your attention?” Tenn’s voice came out as a whisper, the flutter of white petals trailing at the edges of his words. “Am I enough?”

“You’re… overwhelming,” Gaku breathed, voice hushed.

His bright eyes flitted over Tenn’s face, like he just couldn’t drink it in enough. Tenn reveled in it, cherished the way Gaku’s eyes kept being drawn back by the power of Tenn’s gaze until he couldn’t possibly look away.

Tenn’s gaze finally flickered down to his lips, releasing him for a moment, before moving back up to his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” came the immediate request, a breath away.

Tenn’s eyes closed as he leaned in, their noses brushing before their lips met. A hand threaded through his hair, cradling his head, like he was unspeakably precious, and Tenn couldn’t help the soft noise that he made against Gaku’s mouth. He kissed Gaku’s answering little smile until he ran out of breath.

When they pulled apart, lips still brushing as they panted, Tenn kept his eyes closed. His chest ached horribly, strangely—full of something spilling out, waiting to be articulated.

“I want to treasure you,” he whispered into Gaku’s next kiss.

Gaku groaned against his lips, leaving them tingling. “Why do you say things like that? _How_ do you say things like that?”

Tenn kissed him again. “Because it’s true,” he added as an afterthought.

Gaku pulled back just enough that Tenn’s eyes were fluttering open. Gaku was looking at him urgently, his cheeks flushed beneath Tenn’s fingers, silver eyes intense. His hand trailed through Tenn’s hair to cup his chin.

“There can never be anyone else like you, Tenn,” he said earnestly.

Tenn felt his face heat mercilessly. A rush of warmth had him pushing himself into a sitting position, and Gaku followed him. He reached out and cupped Gaku’s head in both of his hands, thumbs brushing carefully against his temples. He drank in Gaku’s anticipation before he leaned in, watching Gaku’s eyes flutter closed and his lips part.

But instead of kissing him again, Tenn instead reached up and gently brushed his hair from his forehead. He pressed a kiss there, lingering and so tender, and pulled back to find Gaku gaping at him in wide-eyed surprise, blushing furiously.

“T-Tenn?” he stuttered.

Tenn gave him an impossibly soft smile, combing a hand through his hair again. Gaku leaned into it, watching Tenn closely, and a moment later they were hugging. Tenn breathed in deeply. He closed his eyes when his chest gave a horrible twinge, and his arms tightened around Gaku.

They spent the rest of the night curled up together, speaking in whispers. The sky started to get pale and the sun eventually rose, but Gaku didn’t pay that any more attention than he had the stars in the end. Tenn watched the dawn through the way it lit up his messy hair and his tired smile instead, and Gaku did, too.

When he threw up an entire flower for the first time two days later, a beautiful, closed white anemone—he held onto that sight in his memories. He thought of Gaku looking at him instead of the star-banishing sunrise, and it filled him with courage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 龍之介 (06:27)  
> Whew! Thanks for adding me back, guys! I don’t know which button I keep pressing that I always wind up leaving the chat…
> 
> 天 (06:28)  
> Yes, it’s unfortunate.
> 
> 龍之介 (06:28)  
> So anyway, what did you talk about while I was gone?
> 
> 楽 (06:28)  
> Nothing
> 
> 天 (06:28)  
> Nothing.
> 
> 龍之介 (06:29)  
> …Is it always going to be like this now that I’m third-wheeling? (^^;)
> 
> (天 has removed 龍之介 from the chat)
> 
> 楽 (06:29)  
> Tenn!!!!!
> 
> the only thing i regret about writing this from tenn’s pov is that we don’t get to see gaku’s frantic texts to ryuu about wtf to do with this whole “romance” thing. because let me tell you, he LOOKS super cool, but those texts exist. oboy, do they exist


	3. iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, this is it... this is the first time i've finished a multi-chapter fic that i've uploaded, actually. this is kind of a big moment for me. it's a bit bittersweet, isn't it? :')
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who's kept up with it so far! it was a blast to write this and to look at all your comments. we have finally arrived at the tenn&riku promised land which kind of makes this my real favorite chapter by default. this is so long i should've split it up at the page break but i'm not a monster, you're welcome :)
> 
> ALSO: credit once again to my brother for the lyric translations. this time it's sakura message because i'm basic!

“Gaku. You aren’t keeping up with me.”

Gaku paused behind Tenn, letting the “Last Dimension” music continue on as he dropped out of the appropriate formation. Tenn followed suit, fixing Gaku’s reflection in the studio mirror with an unimpressed expression. He managed to look intimidating despite the fact that his face was flushed and his chest was heaving from exertion—even more so than usual, given how hard it was getting to breathe with the progression of his Hanahaki.

For the last week, he’d been coughing up entire flowers more often than not. His attacks had increased to three or more per day, and it was getting incredibly difficult for him to hide it from everyone besides Ryuu—but especially from Gaku, of course. It was only the combination of Tenn’s good condition beforehand, his training, and the sheer force of his will that had kept him free of suspicion for this long, and he could tell that Ryuu was days away from telling their manager. There were only so many times he could excuse himself to throw up petals in the bathroom before it became obvious that something was wrong, after all.

Now, though, he wasn’t in danger of a coughing fit. He was just subtly gasping for air as he pinned Gaku with a hard look through the mirror.

“Huh?” Gaku panted, scowling slightly at Tenn. “I was perfectly in time. Quit nitpicking for invisible problems.”

Tenn rolled his eyes and leaned back a bit to give Gaku a nudge. Gaku’s entire chest was rock solid, though, and he didn’t really succeed in nudging him anywhere.

“I wasn’t talking about the music,” he sighed in between gulps of air. “I meant me. You aren’t following my lead perfectly.”

“Oh?” Gaku put a steadying hand on Tenn’s hip when it didn’t look like he was going to move back any time soon. He raised his eyebrows challengingly at Tenn’s reflection. “That makes even less sense. Why don’t you mind your own performance, if you’re so worried about being in sync?”

“My performance was flawless,” Tenn said coolly. He ignored the growing pressure in his chest that was making it impossible to catch his breath and focused on not _sounding_ like he was still struggling to breathe. “That was my point. You have to adapt better to what I’m doing.”

Gaku’s frustrated sigh ruffled Tenn’s damp hair. “This again? I can’t read your mind, you know.”

Tenn tilted his head forward so that he could look over his shoulder at Gaku instead of staring him down in the mirror. “You don’t need to have ESP to do more than stand there looking pretty when I’m trying to elevate the performance.”

“Just stand there—!” Gaku cut himself off incredulously. “Jeez, can you stop being such a brat for even one session? Ryuu isn’t even here and you still want a ‘perfect’ _three-person_ dance routine.”

Tenn turned around so that he could face Gaku, laying both hands on his chest to steady himself. Gaku’s arm stayed where it was around his waist, and Tenn leaned up into his space as much as he could as the song started over again in the background. “It’s comments like that one that tell me you aren’t taking me as seriously as you should be… when we’re dancing.”

“It’s hard to take you seriously when you invent issues out of nowhere so that you have something to harp about,” Gaku said, his frowning face now mere inches from Tenn’s. “Why don’t you ever try explaining yourself, huh?”

“I’m your center,” Tenn said, eyes flickering over Gaku’s face. His breathing still hadn’t slowed down, but now he thought he had an acceptable excuse. “You should take my cues and support me properly. When I’m going in one direction with the performance, I need you to see it and follow me there.”

Gaku’s forehead leaned against his. “Maybe if you weren’t so frustratingly self-centered, I could,” he breathed.

Tenn’s eyes fluttered closed. Gaku’s free hand came up to cup his chin, tilting his head up. “You wouldn’t see it that way if you were more motivated to advance.”

Then they were kissing, hard and demanding. Tenn trailed a hand up the side of Gaku’s throat and left the other gripping the shirt over his rapidly-thumping heart. It had only been a few seconds, but it felt like they were saying more to each other now than they had during the entire previous conversation—like they were finally getting through to each other somehow, in a way they never used to be able to whenever they had these same arguments before. The breathless ache in his chest felt _good_ rather than suffocating for once, and the encroaching tickle at the back of his throat didn’t seem so pressing when he had Gaku’s hand splayed across his lower back.

Tenn was just starting to take the lead, coaxing Gaku’s lips open with his tongue, when something interrupted them.

A loud crashing noise and startled squawk from the direction of the door completely shattered the moment. Tenn broke off the kiss, his lips still hovering over Gaku’s as he panted heavily, but he didn’t open his eyes yet. He needed to collect himself before he went to see what kind of imbecile would—

“T-T-T…” came the stuttering gasp from the door. “T-Tenn- _nii_?!”

Ah, right. _That_ kind of imbecile.

Gaku was pulling away with a low, surprised noise that Tenn’s hand, still pressed against his throat, actually felt. “Nanase?!” he exclaimed, his cheeks starting to flush. “H-Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?!”

Tenn fully separated himself from Gaku, turning to fix his younger brother with an icy glare.

Riku was splayed on the floor, obviously being the thing which had made the crashing noise when he tripped over himself in his shock. His face was as red as his hair, his eyes comically wide as they darted frantically every which way.

“B-But I did knock!” he protested, completely unable to look Gaku in the eyes. He instead busied himself with pulling himself to his feet, mumbling, “You must not have heard me, with the, ah, music and… and everything…”

Gaku groaned, covering his eyes with his hand, and Riku looked so dismayed that Tenn almost wanted to laugh at the both of them, if he hadn’t currently been breathing too hard to speak, let alone laugh.

“I forgot you two had your practice today,” Gaku uttered, rubbing a hand down his face. “I’ll just… get out of your hair. Tenn, we can finish our conversation later.”

Riku gave a loud squeak, then clamped both hands over his mouth. Gaku whipped around to fix him with an expression halfway between frantic and annoyed, his blush darkening.

“Not like that!” he yelled, which had Riku nodding vigorously behind his hands, eyes still wide as dinner plates. “I meant before we—ah—you know, never mind! Tenn, I’ll see you at our event later.”

He began to stride away as fast as his decidedly long legs would carry him, only to halt when Tenn reached out and grabbed his hand. He turned around, head tilted questioningly.

Tenn paused for a moment catch his breath, taking in the sight of Gaku’s flushed face and surly expression. Then he raised Gaku’s hand to his lips, flashing him a smile before he pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“Bye-bye,” he said sweetly.

He watched delightedly as Gaku’s face rapidly went as red as Riku’s before he turned and rushed from the room with another stammered goodbye thrown over his shoulder. Riku, meanwhile, was a stuttering mess who seemed seconds away from choking on air.

With a sigh that caused his chest to twinge sharply, Tenn took pity on his brother.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he led him over to some chairs farther inside the practice room.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” Riku insisted, fanning his blushing face with his hands. “I just… You and Yaotome- _san_ , huh?”

Tenn shot him a discerning look—as if Riku was a difficult person to read—and found nothing but concern directed at him.

“It’s…” He paused to search for the right words, rubbing absently at his chest. “…still new. I haven’t told anyone besides Ryuu and my manager.”

Riku’s eyes followed his hand down to his chest, prompting Tenn to pull his hand away like it’d been burned. “Ah, well… congratulations!”

Tenn didn’t need to be his brother to be able to tell that something was bothering him. He crossed his arms, staring Riku down. “Is something wrong?”

“No!” Riku rushed to assure him, only for him to deflate immediately when Tenn raised an eyebrow at him. “Not really… It’s just, when I first got here, it sounded like you guys were really going at it… I thought I was going to have to break up a fight or something. I guess I’m kind of surprised to hear you’re together when I know you can kind of, um… fight? …a lot.”

Tenn couldn’t help it. He let out a twinkling little laugh at Riku’s earnest expression, which he had to hide behind a hand when he saw the look of pure surprise that Riku shot his way at the sound of his laughter. His chest gave a pang, stronger than before, and he cleared his throat.

“It’s not really any of your business,” he pointed out.

Riku pouted. “But Tenn- _nii_ …”

Tenn sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t have to explain what our ‘arguments’ are like.”

“It still seems kinda weird to me…” Riku mumbled.

Tenn was decidedly unimpressed. “What about you and that high schooler in your band? Izumi Iori?”

Riku’s expression was perfectly blank. “What? Iori?”

Tenn stared at him flatly, and Riku tilted his head. His confusion was so complete that Tenn _knew_ he was faking it, but this was not the hill he planned to die on.

“Anyway,” he said, “haven’t I told you to call me ‘Kujou- _san_ ’ while we’re working?”

“Ah, that’s right…” Riku trailed off.

He had deflated, shoulders slumping and gaze lowering so that he brought to mind an actual distressed puppy. Tenn could practically see the imaginary ears and tail drooping—and his chest might already have been in severe pain, but this image somehow managed to make it _worse_.

Sighing, he glanced away. “It’s fine for right now, Riku.”

“Ah, really?” Riku exclaimed. “Then, I look forward to working with you, Tenn- _nii_!”

Tenn looked back to return Riku’s blinding grin with a small smile of his own. “I’m looking forward to it, too.”

“I can’t believe we finally get to sing together, just the two of us,” Riku said happily. “When my manager approached me with the project, it felt like some of my oldest dreams were coming true.”

“I truly never thought I’d see this day,” Tenn offered.

Anyone else might’ve taken it as a slight, but Riku just laughed, offering an upbeat, “Right?”

“The song looks like it’s going to be challenging,” Tenn said, steering them firmly back to their work. He started sorting through the papers with the vocal parts and the choreography. “The accompanying dance, too.”

“I thought so, too!” Riku agreed as he joined Tenn in organizing everything. “It seems like they’re putting a lot of trust in us centers to try our hardest!”

“We’ll have to make these practices as productive as possible,” Tenn said firmly—which was his most polite way of saying that he was about to turn this practice room into the tenth circle of Hell. “What do you want to start with?”

“Hm…” Riku tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Probably the dancing. It always takes me longer to get the hang of that than the singing, so I could do with a head start on it.”

Tenn’s chest throbbed at the mere prospect of spending the next few hours corralling Riku through the choreography. He’d already been dancing all morning, too, and he’d only just gotten his breathing back to normal…

He pursed his lips. The very moment he let this disease control his ability to perform properly, he forfeited the right to deal with it on his own terms. He would _not_ allow that to happen.

“Fine,” he said, rising to his feet. “But I’m going to stop you if I think you’ve reached your limit.”

Riku sent him a half-hearted glare. “I’ll stop myself if I need to…”

Tenn gave him an indulgent smile. “Mhm. Ready to start?”

“Yes!” Riku exclaimed, leaping up to follow Tenn to the empty area in front of the mirrors. “I warmed up before I got here!”

“Without music first, then,” Tenn said as he got into position. “We’ll take it in pieces for now.”

He took a deep breath, preparing to project his voice so that he could count them in.

…Or at least, he planned to do so—but when he tried, he felt a stabbing pain in his chest like nothing that had come before it. He choked, hunching forward and clutching both hands at his throat as his lungs burned and he gasped for air in desperate, wheezing coughs.

“Tenn- _nii_?!” came Riku’s alarmed shout. “What’s happening?! Are you alright?”

He felt a hand on his back and shrugged it off. Shaking his head, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to force his words out between ragged breaths.

“I-I’m… fine,” he managed to get out before his throat closed up.

The hand had returned to his back, more insistently this time. A white-hot spike of pain had him doubling over coughing before he could brush it away, constricting his chest in a vice while at the same time it felt like his lungs where being knocked loose and rattled around his ribcage. He could _feel_ the petals pushing at his insides, trying to force their way up his throat, and he willed them down ruthlessly.

The very _last_ thing he needed was for Riku to find out like this, he thought as he sank fully to the floor.

“You’re _not_ fine!” Riku exclaimed. “This… What is this? Is it an _attack_? Have you secretly had asthma this whole time, too?!”

Tenn made it through another round of coughing, throat shredded raw. He raised a shaky hand to his face as his chest heaved and he glared at Riku in the mirror. “D-Don’t be—an idiot,” he gasped.

“You’re barely breathing!” Riku chastised him. “Hang on, I’ll get my inhaler…”

Tenn reached out and caught Riku’s shirt in a vice-like grip, shaking his head. “It… won’t help.”

“You don’t know that!” Riku protested, his grip tightening on Tenn’s shoulder.

“I do,” Tenn snapped, and something in his voice caused Riku to freeze in surprise. He closed his eyes, swallowing back the flowers that had made their way to his mouth. It felt like there were knives being shoved down his throat. “Just… give me a minute.”

His chest was still heaving, stinging with every labored breath, but he wasn’t coughing anymore, and he sensed that the danger of throwing up any flowers had passed. It was just a matter of getting everything back to a normal pace.

He opened his eyes when he was sure he could speak properly. Riku’s terrified face stared back at him in the mirror, and he realized that they were both still clinging to each other where they sat collapsed in the middle of the floor. He felt flushed and shaky as he reached up a hand to push his hair back from his damp forehead.

“See?” he panted, his voice once more coming out even and controlled. “It went away eventually.”

Riku’s hand on him went slack. “You… You can’t be serious?”

“Your inhaler wouldn’t have been any help.”

“I can’t believe you!” Riku said heatedly. “Come on, we’re going to a hospital, right now!”

“No,” Tenn said, shaking himself out of Riku’s grip.

“No?” Riku echoed, indignant.

“I don’t need any medical intervention right now,” Tenn informed him calmly.

Riku grabbed him by the hand, trying to urge him to his feet. “Yes, you do! That was _way_ beyond a typical cold—”

“That still doesn’t mean I’m going to let you make a scene dragging me off to the hospital,” Tenn said, glaring at him.

Riku glared right back. “You shouldn’t be performing in this condition!”

“When I want your input, I’ll be sure to let you know,” Tenn said icily. His was face was still burning from the exertion, and he hated it.

Riku’s lips were pursed into a thin line. “Tenn- _nii_ ,” he said quietly. “I’m not going to practice with you when you’re sick.”

“So it’s your turn to lecture me, now?” Tenn asked. Riku looked stricken, as though Tenn’s words had been a physical slap to the face, but Tenn just barreled on. “Not everyone is as pointlessly self-sacrificing as you, you know. I know what’s happening to me, and my resolve to continue on isn’t so naïve as yours.”

“Why are you saying this?” Riku whispered, his hand tightening around Tenn’s. “I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be,” Tenn said harshly. He leaned away to let out another hacking cough, wincing as his chest throbbed.

“No way!” Riku protested, startling Tenn with the vehemence in his voice. He glared at him as he rubbed soothing circles into his back. “I care about you, and I _know_ you know that! Even when you’re trying your hardest to be distant like now, I’m not going to give up. You can’t ask me to!”

Tenn blinked at him. The tears from his coughing fit were catching on his eyelids, making his cheeks damp. He shifted his hand in Riku’s so that their fingers were interlocked.

“Tenn- _nii_ , what’s going on?” Riku asked, more calmly than before.

Something in Tenn’s chest shifted. “Riku,” he started, softly. “You know, I…”

He didn’t know how he was going to end that sentence. Before he could even try, however, he lost the chance entirely.

Pain bloomed in his chest, even worse than before. He jerked forward despite Riku’s arm around his back and started in on a series of hacking coughs that had his entire body shaking with the sheer force of it. His grip on Riku’s hand got tighter before he registered that he was doing it.

Riku made a distressed noise. “I’m sorry, but I have to—”

“It—” Tenn panted between coughs. “It isn’t usually—l-like this.”

“What?” Riku prompted, sounding more worried now. “What do you mean, ‘like this’?”

“Not… this f-frequent.” It felt like there was a heavy weight pushing down on his chest, now, preventing him from breathing in. He could feel panic starting to bubble up and rise to the forefront of his thoughts, and he brought his free hand up to his chest. “I-I…”

His throat convulsed, trying to expel petals while he was still coughing relentlessly, and closed up entirely. He couldn’t speak at all—his only choice was to wait for it to pass, and to try not to visibly throw up any flowers in the meantime.

Except… it wasn’t stopping. The pressure on his chest was crushing, and he just kept coughing, and coughing, and coughing, unable to draw a real breath at all.

Tears stung his eyes as all the air was forcibly ripped from his body. He gave a shuddering heave as he coughed and felt something _give_ in his chest with a sickening _crack_. Something pushed its way out of his constricted throat before he could stop it, falling from his lips and onto the floor.

It was a whole anemone, in full bloom, dripping with saliva and the pinkish tinge of blood.

He stared at it for what felt like ages. Riku’s hushed, almost reverent, “ _Oh_ ,” somehow made it past the roaring in his ears, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the flower. His chest rattled as he wheezed.

“Tenn- _nii_.” Riku was frantically clutching at his shoulders, then cupping his cheek and tilting his head up. “Tenn- _nii_! Look at me!”

It was still a few seconds before Tenn managed to dazedly focus his eyes on Riku. He was crying.

_The blood is new_ , he wanted to say. _It’s gotten worse_.

But there were petals in his throat, now, and when he breathed in, nothing happened except that his chest got fuller, more clogged with flowers. The more he gasped for air, the more petals were falling out of his mouth, and his vision was starting to become spotted with bright white stars.

_I don’t know what to do…_

“Tenn- _nii_!” Riku was screaming. “Hold on! Please!”

He grasped weakly at Riku’s wrist, trying to keep himself grounded as he choked. His eyes fluttered, feverish and seeking desperately to stay locked onto Riku’s.

“Riku…!” he gasped, almost soundlessly. The words disappeared in the sea of petals before he could get them all the way out. “Help—”

Then his whole vision was going white, before fading into darkness.

* * *

_“All the things I still had to convey to the world of today…_

_“Before I realized, they just lined up, somehow—all the words to say.”_

As Tenn drifted back into consciousness, he smiled despite the lingering pain in his chest.

_“Sakura... if one wish of mine…”_

His eyes fluttered open to a white ceiling above him, and the singing came to an abrupt halt.

“Ah, you’re awake!” Riku exclaimed, giving Tenn’s hand a squeeze where it rested on his hospital bed. “How are you feeling? Can you talk?”

“You were singing to me,” Tenn said, his voice rough but blessedly clear.

Riku laughed, ducking his head a bit. “Oh, you heard that? I’m sorry if it woke you up…”

Tenn shook his head. “It was touching.”

Riku looked up in surprise, but then he slowly returned Tenn’s smile. “It’s kind of selfish, but I really wanted to pay you back for all those times when we were little…”

“I don’t need to be paid back for that,” Tenn said softly. “I was being selfish, too.”

Riku frowned in confusion. “Huh?”

“Seeing you smile… it’s the most precious thing in the world to me, you know? That’s all I wanted.”

Riku stared at him with wide, surprised eyes for a moment. Then he promptly hunched over and buried his face in his hands. Tenn was thinking fondly of how easy it was to fluster him when he noticed Riku’s shoulders begin to shake.

“R-Riku?” Tenn asked, alarmed.

Riku looked up with red, tear-filled eyes and wobbling lips, like he was about to burst.

Tenn reached out a hand, unable to lean forward and put his arm around him like he wanted to. “Hey, it’s—”

“I’m sorry!” Riku all but wailed, sniffling as he wiped at his cheeks with his sleeve. “I-I was just so scared when you—and I thought—!”

“It’s okay, calm down,” Tenn soothed, rubbing the back of Riku’s hand with his thumb. “I’m alright, see? If you aren’t careful, you’ll work yourself up to an attack.”

Riku gave a watery laugh and a few hiccoughs as he furiously rubbed at his eyes. “Ah… It looks like even now, you’re still the one who’s taking care of me…”

Tenn smiled encouragingly. “It’s not like it was going to be exactly the same. You were never sick because of unrequited love.”

Riku’s growing smile faded, and with it, Tenn’s did, too. He fixed Tenn with an uncharacteristically serious expression, made all the more intense by his red-rimmed eyes. “You know… it felt like that sometimes, after you left.”

Tenn’s breath left him in a rush. “What?”

“I’ve told you before that I used to wonder if I was the reason that you left,” Riku said with another little sniffle. “I… couldn’t help but focus on the distance that you put between us, and I thought, ‘He must not share this love I have for him…’”

Tenn’s heart was painful where it pounded in his chest. “…That’s what you think of me?”

Then it stopped entirely when Riku shook his head.

“No,” he said softly, taking Tenn’s hand again. “I realized I was wrong before. You’ll always be hard to reach, but… you just speak a different language when it comes to love, don’t you?”

Tenn let out a breath. “A different language…” he repeated, a little bit awed.

“That’s how I think of it, anyway,” Riku said simply, as though he hadn’t just given such important words to Tenn.

“Well,” Tenn finally sighed, “I suppose it would explain the predicament I’m in now, if it’s true. It’s a miracle I’m still conscious at all…”

“Oh!” Riku exclaimed. “I guess I forgot to give you an update on your condition, huh? You were out for around two hours, but the doctors say you’re out of the woods for now. You have a cracked rib, and they gave you some medicine that slows down the growth of the, ah, the flowers. At least for a while.”

Tenn sighed, shifting his gaze up to the ceiling. “I suppose I owe you an explanation.”

“Ah, that’s alright!” Riku rushed to say. “You’re not supposed to get stressed out, so…”

“No, I think I need to say it. Out loud.” Tenn sighed, then winced at the twinge in his chest. Riku nodded encouragingly. “I love Gaku. I… want him to see me in the same way that I see him. That’s why I haven’t told him about the Hanahaki.”

Riku gave a start, gawking at Tenn. “Y-You—didn’t tell him?!”

Tenn gave him a strange look. “No, of course not.”

Riku made a pained noise.

“I didn’t want him to feel trapped into loving me,” Tenn clarified, shooting Riku a disapproving frown. “That would just have guaranteed my failure.”

“No, it’s not that…” Riku said stiffly. “It’s just…”

“What?” Tenn prompted, impatient.

“Once I had calmed down and it seemed like you were going to be okay, I… Well, the doctors only called your manager, so I…”

“Riku.” Tenn’s eyes narrowed, and Riku straightened in his seat. “Did you tell Gaku why I’m here?”

Riku winced. “Um…”

Tenn sighed heavily, and Riku added in a rush, “I also told Tsunashi- _san_ , if it helps?”

“You—”

Then, there was a loud knock on the door.

The look he gave Riku was frigid. “That had better be Ryuu.”

Riku laughed nervously as he leapt out of his chair. Tenn heard him mutter, “Unlikely,” as he went to answer the door.

It had barely opened a foot when Gaku’s voice started bellowing from the other side.

“Where is he?!” he asked breathlessly. “Is he awake? Did they have to do the operation? I—Tenn!”

He had pushed his way past a sputtering Riku and frozen when he caught sight of Tenn lying on the bed, awake. He was panting, faced flushed and sweaty hair clinging to it like he had run all the way here.

Tenn offered him a little wave, then watched as he heaved an enormous sigh.

Riku cleared his throat awkwardly, his whole face having turned redder than Gaku’s. “I’ll just wait outside,” he offered, already edging his way out the door. “If anyone else shows up, I’ll let them know to give you guys, um, some privacy…”

He closed the door before either of them could say anything in response. Then it was just the two of them, alone in a silence broken only by the sound of the labored breathing coming from the both of them. Gaku was staring at him so hard it was almost like a glare, his eyes flinty and totally unreadable.

Then all of a sudden, he was rushing over and gently cradling Tenn’s head in his hand, against his chest so that Tenn could hear his thundering heartbeat.

“You _idiot_ ,” Gaku breathed into his hair.

Tenn sighed through the ache in his own chest, letting his eyes close as he cherished the feeling for a moment.

“You’re okay, right?” Gaku whispered. “Nanase said you were stable, but—”

“I’m not in any immediate danger,” Tenn promised, just as quiet.

Gaku squeezed just a bit tighter, and Tenn tried to match his breathing. They just stayed like that for a bit, until Gaku’s heartbeat had stabilized and Tenn’s chest only gave the slightest twinge when he took a deep breath.

“You really are an idiot,” Gaku sighed.

Then he yelped and leapt away, looking down at a smirking Tenn with wide eyes. “Did you just… pinch me?”

Tenn smiled sweetly at him. “Did you just call your bed-ridden lover an idiot?”

“ _Yes_!” Gaku said, running a hand through his hair. “If you don’t like it, then try not to behave so recklessly!”

“For what it’s worth,” Tenn said sincerely, “I’m really sorry for causing you trouble.”

“It’s worth a lot,” Gaku promised. “But I’m guessing you aren’t sorry for not telling me the truth?”

Tenn’s chin jutted out a bit. “No, I’m not.”

Gaku put one hand on Tenn’s head and rubbed his own forehead tiredly with the other. “Alright, let’s hear it, then.”

Tenn tilted his head. “Hear what?”

“Your excuse,” Gaku said firmly.

Tenn’s expression shuttered. “My excuse,” he repeated flatly.

“ _Yes_ , your excuse,” Gaku said, impatient. “Why did I find out that you have critical-condition Hanahaki through a phone call that your hysterical brother made _from your hospital room_?”

“Ah,” Tenn said, nodding. “That was my mistake.”

Gaku perked up, visibly surprised. “You mean you were going to tell me?”

“No. The mistake was being hospitalized,” Tenn said solemnly. “Ideally, you wouldn’t have found out at all.”

“Tenn!” Gaku snapped.

“What?” Tenn shot back. “I already told you that I’m not apologizing.”

“You’re so infuriating when you get like this,” Gaku said, frowning.

“What, when I have principles?” Tenn asked idly.

“Oh, is that what you call being a stubborn ass?”

Tenn clicked his tongue, glancing away. It wasn’t very effective with Gaku’s hand still resting on his head, playing with his hair, and besides—this wasn’t how he wanted this conversation to go, anyway.

He took a deep breath, half to make sure that he still could, and turned back to Gaku.

“Gaku.” Tenn reached out with both hands, and Gaku moved forward as if by instinct, leaning in so that Tenn could cup his cheeks in his palms. “I know what I did was cruel, but you… aren’t really mad, right? You understand, don’t you?”

He searched Gaku’s eyes, imploring him to see what Tenn was offering. After a moment, Gaku reached up to cover Tenn’s hands with his own.

“I was at first,” he admitted. “I still am, somewhat. I couldn’t believe you would lie to me about something that important.”

“Lie?” Tenn asked sharply.

“But then I gave it some more thought,” Gaku continued pointedly. “And I realized… You thought of this as the only way to really be honest, didn’t you? To let me have a choice, too?”

“Ah,” Tenn said as he broke into a small smile, his heart suddenly leaping in his battered chest, “you do understand.”

Gaku shook his head as he reached out to smooth Tenn’s bangs along his forehead. “Only because I took the extra time to second-guess myself, and even then, I wasn’t sure. I swear, you should come with an interpreter.”

Tenn’s smile grew wider. “I’m sure I could ask Riku to join us at our next practice, too.”

“No!” Gaku said loudly. Then he cleared his throat. “I mean, he’s way more clueless than I am, anyway.”

“Oh?” Tenn leaned further into Gaku’s space—as much as he could without jostling himself. “Just how well do you think you know me?”

Gaku pressed a light kiss to the tip of his nose, causing Tenn’s eyes to widen in surprise. Gaku pulled back with a smile of his own and said, “Well enough to surprise you sometimes, I think.”

“G-Gaku—”

He was cut off by Gaku’s laughter. “You’re much cuter like this than when you’re being stubborn, you know.”

Tenn’s cheeks started to feel warm. “Hey…”

Gaku leaned in to press another kiss to Tenn’s forehead. “I actually have another question,” he murmured against Tenn’s skin.

“What?” Tenn sighed.

“Tenn,” Gaku said seriously. “You were really ready to let yourself die over this?”

Tenn held his gaze for as long as he could bear, before he glanced off to the side, dropping his hands from Gaku’s face. “No, of course not,” he said coolly.

“What?” Gaku snapped.

Tenn had to fight off a smile at the indignance in his voice. “My, someone thinks highly of himself.”

“Don’t be such a brat!” Gaku said. “You almost _did_ die. Are you telling me you miscalculated somehow? You?”

“Of course not,” Tenn repeated. He peeked over at Gaku, relishing his frustrated little frown. “But I still wasn’t planning to die for my feelings, as important as they are.”

“How?” Gaku asked, exasperated.

This time, Tenn really let himself smile—a wide, eye-crinkling smile that lit up his whole face and hurt his cheeks just a bit.

“I was just that sure that I could get you to fall in love with me.”

He watched Gaku’s face turn bright red, his eyes widening as he brought a hand up to his chest to press over his heart.

“How can you say something so bold when I...” Gaku trailed off, looking at Tenn with wonder. “I haven’t even…”

“But you do, don’t you?” Tenn asked, taking Gaku’s other hand in both of his and pressing it to his own chest, above the bandages. He hadn’t been sure a moment ago—in fact, he still wasn’t sure, but now he felt something that wasn’t there before. A recklessness, maybe, or a need to be brave. He couldn’t stop himself from saying, “You love me.”

“Hey,” Gaku warned, “hold your tongue for a second. Don’t go stealing this moment from me.”

“This moment?” Tenn repeated.

He watched Gaku take a deep breath, looking back at Tenn with bright eyes filled with determination, and he felt the answering swoop of anticipation in his own stomach.

“Of course I love you, too,” he began, and Tenn’s breath caught. “I should’ve realized it sooner. But for me, it was a feeling that was so big, I almost failed to see it.”

Tenn felt himself blushing. “Gaku…”

“I should have been looking more closely,” he continued. “It was there the whole time. The devotion you show to our fans, your confidence when you pick a fight, the passion you bring when you’re performing… All of it makes up a part of what I feel for you. There’s no way I could simplify it, so I didn’t understand it at first.”

Tenn sighed, giving Gaku’s hand a gentle squeeze. He felt light enough to float away if it hadn’t been for that hand laying on his chest. “I’ve been told that I never make anything easy.”

“That’s for damn sure,” Gaku laughed. He reached out with his free hand to cup Tenn’s cheek. “You’re the definition of larger than life. Sorry for making you wait for me to catch up.”

Tenn reached out a hand to tug Gaku in closer. “Sorry for making you chase after me.”

“No, you’re not,” Gaku muttered against his lips.

Tenn smiled into the kiss, and soon enough, Gaku did, too.

“By the way,” Gaku said as he pulled away a few seconds later, “ _that’s_ how to give a spontaneous confession, if you were wondering.”

Tenn blinked at him for a beat before his eyes started to narrow. “What are you saying?”

“I would tell you to take notes,” Gaku said leisurely, “but it would be pointless, since you already had your go.”

Tenn’s jaw dropped open, caught as he was somewhere between flattery and fury. “You…”

Gaku waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t, he laughed. “Just remember, you only get to do it once, so now mine will always be better.”

Tenn managed to recover, schooling his flustered expression into something much subtler (although he couldn’t do anything about the tempo of his heart rate monitor). “What makes you think I’m done confessing my love to you?”

Gaku froze, the grin on his face slipping away. “…Huh?”

Tenn shrugged, tilting his head. “There are lots of firsts when it comes to confessions, you know? I wouldn’t rest on your laurels, if I were you…”

“Wait, Tenn,” Gaku said urgently. He reached out to take both of Tenn’s hands. “Let’s not—you don’t mean that you’re going to embarrass me in a bunch of different contexts? Right?”

“If it’s embarrassing, it just means your will is that weak,” Tenn said breezily.

“We’re still keeping it a secret from the media,” Gaku offered weakly.

“Obviously,” Tenn scoffed. Then he grinned. “But that just gives me more room to say what I want.”

Gaku groaned, leaning forward to knock his forehead with Tenn’s. “I guess I did start this fight.”

“No,” Tenn said, cupping his chin so that he could look him in the eyes, “I did. I hope you’re ready for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *me with tables & walls covered in maps, charts, books, etc., in front of a giant chalkboard filled with equations* so if tenn is acting this way, and riku is acting that way, AND they’ve already sung sakura message, then it must take place at around—
> 
> jk lol i'm only up to part 2 so i'm bullshitting you all. sorry if there are any inconsistencies or if i’m rehashing stuff that gets covered later, but it fits the theme well and this is the catharsis i need atm!
> 
> anyway, you thought i could write a whole fic about tenn being uncommunicative and emotionally unavailable and NOT address his relationship with riku at least a little bit??? ha ha ha. HA
> 
> riku definitely took a bunch of sleepy tenn pics and sent them to ryuu, who was stuck at a photoshoot at first. he also. made one of them his phone background
> 
> thanks for sticking with me through this whole thing!! ♥


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